This Day

The day began with the struggle to get out of bed. It was one of those winter days in our fair city and that meant the option of going to work was not looking as attractive as they pay check at the end of the day. As the day has gone by, things have taken a sudden drop in temperature...the office seems cold and no longer welcoming despite the hot air that is it. I sit and wonder how will I make it to the end of the month...how will i survive this much hate and brutality to peoples emotions.

I sit and wonder why a sister or a brother can take time out of a busy schedule to cause hurt and pain...sit there and forget that they too have an element of humanity within them...How? How can you forget? But it is on this day I remember that no matter how much hurt, no matter how much pain, no matter how much brutality, there is a faithful and just God. A God who holds his children near and dear. It is on this day that father in heaven I ask for you to hold your beloved children nearer to thee...It is on this day we ask for your judgement and Lord let it be a fair judgement...Lord it is on this day that we as your children call out to thee...

On this day hear our prayer!

Monday thought

Confessions will be the death of me...especially those confessions I make when I am one drink too many. I should really keep away from the hard stuff...if you know me I bet that you are actually nodding. So the other day confessed my love for a friend to, wait for it, his brothers. Am thinking now what the hell did I do? How high was I, that I would open my mouth and tell the brothers how I feel about him.

Anyway there is no use crying over split milk...what is done is done...my big issue is that he must know. I come from a large family and we have never mastered the art of keeping secrets from each other....So dude now that you know what will we do about it? Do you feel the same? Anyway right now I am of the opinion ...If you love something let it go, if it comes back then you know it was meant to be...

I am done wondering, now that you know let me know how you feel!!

A letter to you

Dear Friend,

I hope that you have been well. I write because I feel that we have not been in touch, despite the fact that we spoke almost three hours ago. What I would like to say is a reflection of what I feel in my heart....

From the very first moment I met you, I knew you would be a special addition to my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that the feelings I had for you then would turn to be this strong. When am around you, I feel like my world is complete...You make me to want to be a better person. Being around you puts a smile on my face and lights my heart. I feel like cupid strikes my heart with his arrow of love whenever I am around you. When I am around you I touch the sky from the simple things we do...

Friend, I have fallen head over heels for you, but you will never know...you will never get to know how I truly feel because I am afraid. I am afraid that if I let you know my feelings things will change. My fears hold me back from letting you know how I truly feel about you.

As I say good bye to this day, know that you are the bread to my butter, and you do make my heart flutter...I pray that I do gain the courage to let you know how I truly feel and I pray that the courage comes before its too late. But if that day does not come, know this I will love you now and always.

Ever yours,

Your friend.

If You Were Coming In The Fall

If you were coming in the fall
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn
As housewives do a fly.

If I could see you in a year
I'd wind the months in balls
And put them into separate drawers
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed
I'd count them on my hand
Subtracting 'till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen's land

If certain when this life was out
That yours and mine should be
I'd toss life yonder like a rind
And taste eternity.

But now all ignorant of length,
Of times uncertain wing,
It goads me like the goblin bee
That will not state its sting!

by Emily  Dickinson

My society

I like to believe that before the fall of Adam and Eve, life was as sweet as a chocolate muffin. The World we live in is very unforgiving and it gives no excuses for being that harsh. I live in the beautiful City of Nairobi, but today, I cannot see its beauty. The reason being, it is filled with so many vices, that have eroded its beauty from the core.

For example we live in a city where trash is part and parcel of who we are...we are a city that has forgotten basic principles. Right from wrong. These are two things that we as a people need to understand...right is right and wrong is wrong...no two ways about it. I look at the people who live in the slums and i wonder why wrong is always wrong for them and for the guys who live in the up town world, wrong will be right. A very good example is I once saw a man imprisoned for stealing a baby goat. His reasons for oding this would be very honourable, I mean he stole so that he could feed his family. This is a very noble reason for stealing, don't you think? Despite his reasons, he was put behind bars for months because he stole...

On the other side we have these rich men...who steal our taxes, our land and given the chance they would steal your skin because they can... With these guys,once caught, they go scott free and do not even receive a warning... Does this make sense when did wrong become right? I live in fear that the world I live in today will strip me of my morals and I might (God forbid) turn into one of those wicked people. Why cant we live in a society that is just and fair? Why cant the penalty for stealing be equal for everybody?

I can give more examples about the evils about this society, but the thought of doing that makes me sad. Can we be the change that we want to see in our society? I want to be that change...lets stand and be counted as change makers...I will change my society...

WHAT IS LOVE?

If being in a relationship was like getting an MBA I would be top of the that class. I come from a very troubled place today... I come from a place full of anguish, hurt and distrust. I am at the point in my life where this whole love thing seems to be a prank that the universe plays on some select few...

What is love...I thought I was in love...I thought that the things we did, the time we spent together all added up to the equivalent of love. The joke is on me, because the time we spent and the things we did did not equate to love...they only equated to lust on both our parts...My big issue right now is I seem to be in this recurring cycle...We break up, I find another, then it happens again, we smile, we hold hands, we take walks, we laugh. we cry, we vent, we argue then we make up, then finally we break up. The cycle never breaks...Why doesn't it break? Why cant I get that so called fairy tale ending?

Right now I am at the point where the cycle is beginning all over again...he pursues you, then it starts...One thing I know for sure is that I cannot go through this cycle all over again. I am afraid, afraid that if I go down this path, I will loose the essence of me which is being a woman of feelings...I do not want to go through the motions, I want to love and be loved...but do I really know what love is?

What is love?