Monday, September 3, 2012


Just be YOU. You are enough. Silly, funny, beautiful, uncertain, strong, imperfect, sassy, independent, weird, hopeful, neurotic, spunky, ridiculous, impractical, joyful, single, colourful, fallible, unique YOU. You are a masterpiece, a one-of-a-kind design. God made you and broke the mould…so when there is pressure to conform, DO NOT FOLD!
You’re beautiful, kid, just the way you are.
Shine on. And dare anyone to turn off the lights.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

How a Look Back Can Help You Move Forward

“I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh. But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.” ~Unknown
It’s the darndest thing about life. You have the most heart-wrenching experiences that you think you’ll never recover from…only to find yourself a few years down the road looking back at those very same events with a chuckle. Then you have moments where you laugh uproariously with your girlfriends over something completely nonsensical and you imagine that this will be a memory that incites giggles forever more…yet, gazing at an old scrapbook or reading an old email brings that silly moment to mind and you find yourself weeping over the girl you once were. It’s so fascinating to me how life requires you to gain perspective and distance to TRULY understand the beauty and magic of the experience.
One hot May afternoon several years ago, I was walking back from lunch and discovered my “Mr. Big” waiting for me there.. Since we spotted each other from a distance, there were several moments where we silently gravitated toward one another, and for me, on that beautiful day, the world stood still as I drew closer to him like a moth to a flame. I can still feel the sunshine…hear the birds chirping …see him standing there, so clearly…like it happened only moments instead of years ago. I paused in front of him, a big smile on my face, and with a dramatic flair (he loves the dramatic flair), he said not a word, but swept me back into a Hollywood kiss, right there. Big and I laughed until we were breathless at the thought of being “caught” …and though I can’t remember where we went from there or what the rest of that day entailed…I can remember that moment like it was yesterday. It was one of those perfect moments life sometimes surprises you with that you take a silent snapshot of in your mind because you know you’ll want to remember it for the rest of your life.
And I have. There is never a day that I don’t pause for a moment and glance back seeing his smiling face, remembering the feeling of being crazily, wildly, insanely in love. Even on the coldest winter day, I can recall the warmth of his kiss. It’s a memory that once upon a time, caused me great pain. I would try and deny that memory, dance past it like it didn’t exist, close the floodgates of my memory to what used to be and what might have been. Today, though, I look back and smile. Laugh, even. It has become my favorite memory…and I look at it as a precious time capsule of the girl I used to be...long before I became the woman I am today. It’s a line in my story that I’m grateful for. HE is a line in my story that I’m grateful for. He has inspired so much of my writing, and though his presence is gone from my life, his influence remains; reminding me that sometimes the best love DOESN’T make sense…and that magical movie moments CAN occur in real life…and that if my heart was THAT capable of loving the WRONG one, imagine how completely wondrous it will be when I meet the RIGHT one.
I tell you this story to remind you that not all memories need to be thrown away. Some simply need to be stored away. You may not believe it now, but there WILL come a day when you will look back on memories that once made you cry with a smile. And they will remind you of your strength, your resilience, your courage. It’s OKAY to look back every once in awhile, as long as you visit the past and don’t move in. After all, if we never look back, we can never TRULY know how far we’ve come.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

If I could have a conversation with my younger SELF

I think all of us have SOMETHING we wish we could travel back in time and tell our teenage self.

Don’t perm your hair to within an inch of its life.
Reconsider that getting skunk drunk at 16… .

And then there are the bigger things…the decisions that arguably changed the course of our lives forevermore.

Think twice before falling in love with the boy with the temper. What starts as smoke almost always results in fire.
Appreciate the people in your life while you still have them. Love is eternal…but life itself is brief.

As for me, I can never really decide what I would do if handed the keys to a time machine and told I could travel to any point in the past to change what happened…or any point in the future to see how it all turns out. If a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world can cause a hurricane in another part of the world…do I really want to take the chance of telling the Younger Me something that might alter even one teeny, tiny thing along the way? Didn’t every bit of it – the smiles, the tears, the laughs, the fears, the hurts, the pains, the sunshine, the rain - create the person I am today?
I recently posed this question to my friends: “If you could travel back in time, what is the ONE piece of advice you would give your teenage self?” And the answers I might get maybe so heartfelt, so vulnerable, so authentic….

If given the chance, I WOULD sit down for a conversation with my teenage self. And after sharing a few giggles with her about the fact that while we once thought we’d be married with kids at age 25, we’re 26 and single…I’d tell her this…

“Remember that the way you see yourself is not always how the world sees you. All the little insecurities and flaws and imperfections you think are so obvious to everyone else aren’t nearly as visible as you think they are. You only get one shot at this thing. Be bold and confident. The people who snub you and intimidate you NOW won’t be able to hold a candle to you later! So take chances, take leaps of faith, bet on yourself, kiss the boy, go out on more limbs. Even if things go horribly awry, at least you’ll be left with a fabulous memory instead of a painful regret.”
Then I’d give her a great big hug, and tell her to throw down her expectations, throw up her hands, & enjoy the ride. Because it’s not going to turn out the way she thought it would...
It’s going to turn out better.


“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

What Would Audrey Do?

There’s something about slipping on a little black dress that changes a woman. The way she carries herself. The way she smiles. The way she becomes a little classier and a little sassier just by sliding it on. It’s not something you can explain, teach, bottle, or learn. It’s a phenomenon experienced by single women, married women, young women, old women, and women of all shapes, sizes and races - The Power of the Little Black Dress.

I personally own about five LBD’s of my own, in varying styles, materials, and lengths. The LBD is as versatile as the woman herself; you can dress it up, dress it down, wear flip-flops or your fabulous hot pink stilettos, garnish yourself with pearls or go with costume jewelry - but whatever the occasion and whatever the image you hope to portray - you can do it all with the LBD.

Perhaps the most famous and trail-blazing LBD Diva was the impeccable Ms. Audrey Hepburn. With a tiara, with hair or up hair down, with red lips or nude lips, the lady knew how to WORK IT. With a grace and a beauty and a charm uniquely her own, Audrey Hepburn did not attempt to be anyone other than herself in anything that she did. She admitted to having an unusual look; an unconventional beauty...and she walked it out with confidence, sophistication, and grace. I have found that no matter what life throws at me, there’s a nugget of wisdom for every occasion wrapped up in the honest, vulnerable simplicity of an Audrey Hepburn quote. Audrey’s words can make even the most introverted of women walk a little taller, feel a little bolder, and love a little harder. So much so that when I’m needing to feel my most audacious and fabulous, I often ask myself: “What Would Audrey Do?” (or WWAD?)

1) When I’m feeling a little unsure of myself, and need to be reminded that my beauty is cultivated on the inside before it shows up on my face:
“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”

2) When I have forgotten that there’s nothing I can’t do:
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!"

3) When I need to take a walk on the sexy side:
"There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain."

4) When I need to remember to live in the now and let the Future take care the how:
"Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come...The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present, and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.”

5) When I need a reminder that my outer beauty ain’t got nothing on my inner beauty!
"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.”

6) And finally, when my heart is heavy and needs to be reminded that some of life’s simplest pleasures hold its greatest gifts:
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
Whatever I’m facing in my life - a broken heart, a fight with a friend, a bad hair day, a stressful deadline - it always helps to know that once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl in a little black dress who experienced the same struggles and heartaches and insecurities as me…and overcame her greatest obstacles with style and a smile.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Phenomenal Woman

So I am sitted here and I have so many things flying thorugh my mind. The stuff that has broken me, in the past week (or so i thought) has just turned into a blessing in disguise....*wooohooo*

Sometimes it takes a slap on the right cheek then the left cheek for you to realise that its time to let go of the things that do not build you....Broken you may think you are, but you forget that you are STRONGER...So today I read my favourite poem of all times, Phenomenal Woman, and I sit here reminded yet again that I am Phenomenal...
So I dedicate this to the women who in the past four weeks have helped me remember that I am like a phoenix and I can also rise form the Ashes...

Nicole Chesoni, Nduku Kitenge, Irene Wanjue and Betty Mburu you have helped me discover my strengths yet again and I dedicate this poem to you my dear friends:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman

Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Be Whole. Then Plus One.

I just saw the title of an article: Marriage was not designed to make you Happy.

Really now? Is that the thing you find out After the wedding? Is that what happens After you sail into the sunset? You find THAT out? What an unpleasant surprise. *snickers*

Us humans who don't like facing our situations for what they are will often tuck our ticks, insecurities, disatisfactions, and guilty pleasures under the rug. And when someone comes along who infatuates you, and you initially feel so damn good around them you can't imagine ever feeling not good - you just have it in your mind that all your problems dissipate in their presence. So then you want them around all the time. So then you marry them.

After the butterflies and rainbows disappear. You have the person. The Human. And you still have your bullshit. Except now there are two of you. Two Great People, with their bullshit to go with it.

I see this. I realize this. In a wild attempt to duck the bombs, I've come to the following conclusion:

Make sure that you have everything you need to be happy before getting in a relationship. Make sure that you have ALL corners covered. Money is right. Spirituality is right. Health is right. Relationships are right. So that the ONLY reason you want a partner is for Play ... and because you take such good care of yourself, you will see who brings what to the table with clear vision. You can see people CLEARLY when you take good care of yourself. You can't use anyone for anything when you supply everything for yourself. Relationships then become what they were always supposed to be - FUN. FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN.

And if you fall in love, well - what's FUNNER than that?

As for marriage, I have no advice. Never been married. Have no intentions on being married

Unless... Well .... I do want to know what it's like to be married to someone who's as dedicated to happiness and fulfillment as I am. I just wanna know what a household made of "STRIVERS" would be like. I'm pretty fierce as a one-man wolf pack. But if there were two? What exactly, are the possibilities?

Just a thought.

Adapted from Aprettygirlsblog